Away and back

June19, 2006
     Forgive me for starting at the end (of my West Coast excursion), but it's the most amusing part. So, they load us on United 302 (Chicago to Albany) and we push back from the jetway, and about ten minutes later I notice that we are taxiing past the "C" Concourse again, that is, we've circled around the whole airport. Okay, well, O'Hare is a weird operation.

     So I sink back into the newsprint fog of the fifth newspaper I've read that day and after another ten minutes I notice we're rolling past the "C" Concourse yet again. It's also real hot in the plane because it's 90 degrees outside and the AC isn't running too well. The other passengers are getting grousy.

     So, we finally stop driving around the fucking airport and apparently get on line for takeoff. Only it looks like a staggeringly long line, going forward and around the corner and up the tarmac, forever. "Kcccchhhhhhh," static over the PA as the pilot gets on the microphone. "Uh, folks...." (Whenever they start with that patronizing salutation, you know you're in for the business.) "Uh, folks, it seems to be rush hour out here. They've got us at about, oh, twenty-five or thirty for takeoff..." Groans up and down the aisle. "...and we'll give you an update as soon as we have more information, Kccchhhhhhhhh."

     Okay, we're already a half an hour late for takeoff, and everybody's roasting in the cabin. I'm thinking, the pilot said, "It's rush hour out here." Wait a minute. I don't get it. Rush hour? Like a whole bunch of planes just showed up at O'Hare unscheduled? Coming and going? Nobody was informed about it ahead of time? They're all...surprised? Like there's some kind of airplane freeway ramp out there feeding onto O'Hare, and for some reason a whole lot of planes just appeared? And now the runways are clogged with planes that nobody expected or knew about...?

     I mention this because this is the kind of mendacious bullshit that Americans are subjected to constantly. No wonder we can't think about public affairs anymore.

     Okay, so I spent nine days on the West Coast, starting in Los Angeles, Pasadena, actually. Let's just say that part of the United States is absolutely hopeless. It consists largely of a roadway hierarchy and whatever's left is apportioned to valet parking. It has no future. The poor oblivious denizens of the place don't question their predicament. The whole sordid scene is, well, tragic, and I'm sorry, but let's pass over it for now.

     So, eventually I got up to Seattle, which is trying to be a city, like a real twentieth century city -- did I say twentieth? Well, there's the problem, right there. They're lining the avenues with condo skyscrapers. Big mistake. Skyscrapers are not going to be cool in the twenty-first century as we run into problems with the electricity supply. Oh, well. The other problem with Seattle is this: the topography is really demoralizing. The hills are so steep that I got shin splints from walking around the place for one day. Now, if the people who lived there and run place had any sense, they would have cable cars or some damn thing traversing the hills every ten blocks. Then, you could walk the contours comfortably and get up the elevations okay.

     But they don't do that. They probably had them ninety years ago (and, in fact, I saw framed photos of Seattle's cable cars in the Town Hall auditorium lobby where I gave a blab, so I know for a fact they did). But apparently they forgot how to do that. So now, obviously, everybody brings their car downtown because it's impossible to walk around comfortably, even if you're in shape, and Seattle has become one of the worst traffic clusterfucks in the nation.

     Eventually I got up to Vancouver on Amtrak -- a very comfortable ride along the shore of Puget Sound past flocks of eagles and all kinds of natural beauty -- and when I went through customs at the Vancouver central station, I was pulled aside and directed into a grim little room with a female interogation officer. I had a New York DWAI traffic conviction(* see below) dating from 1997, and did I know that this made me undesirable for entry into that fortress of rectitude, Canada? Well, gosh, no.... Then the lady officer said -- I swear she did -- that she could prevent me from entering if she had been in a bad mood. But instead, she gave me printed instructions for how to apply to the Canadian consulate back home for a document proving I had been rehabilitated (from a misdemeanor). It was interesting to note that Canadian border policy depends on the particular mood of individual customs officers.

     Vancouver is a very appealing site for a city, but it is in the process of being utterly pranged (as they like to say) by massive hyper-mega-overdevelopment. And anyway, circumstances had me more-or-less house-sitting an old college friend's home way up in the hills of suburban West Vancouver, where it required fifty dollars in cab fares to get something to eat. Enough said.

     I took a spectacular ferry ride, on an extravagantly comfortable (and cheap: $8.50Ca) vessel over to little Victoria, the capital of British Columbia, on the big island out in the Pacific. Victoria, too, was on its way toward a good self-pranging, but there is a visible residue of the pre-pranged city that is scaled comfortably and possesses great natural beauty. I met a lot of nice people there, and they didn't seem disturbed that nine years ago I had incurred a misdemeanor conviction for DWAI.

     The rest was that torturous return journey home via O'Hare, which I already told you about. One final note, however, to the hotel chains of North America: please lose those fucking twenty-pound duvets you're putting on all the beds. They're too heavy. They're too hot, even with the AC on. I hardly slept the whole time I was away. No wonder I'm cranky.

* Driving While Ability Impaired -- in New York, a lesser charge than Driving While Intoxicated (DWI)

Comments

[Grant Orand]

What on earth is a DWAI?

[Anon]

errr,

Driving While Ability Impaired -- in New York, a lesser charge than Driving While Intoxicated (DWI)

[nostalgia]

You do realize that an American official in the same position can have you banned from entering the U.S., not merely by having you locked up until being deported, but also for the next 5 years? Without any appeal, or judicial review?

Canada is merely living next door to Big Brother, and yet Kunstler seems so surprised that the some minor official can cause him to reflect who is in charge.

What he should really worry about is how did the Canadian government know about a New York State charge from 1997? Being a somewhat involved crusader, Kunstler does a fine job missing the bigger picture - he can't even leave the U.S. without being followed by his sins on his permanent record.

[Cyndiluwho]

Nostalgia, NYS DWAI convictions stay on your drivers license for 10 years. If he offered it as ID to customs they saw it when they did their computer check.

[Mike]

Morning Gang-

While I think (??) I see Jim's larger point -- cars, airplanes, suburbs, hills & thick blankets bad; trains, cable cars & air-conditioning good -- I think he needs a good night's sleep in A/C'd Saratoga Springs to clear his head.

Then he'll feel muuuuuuch better.

I mean, we all have nightmarish travel experiences, but for someone who travels a lot, Jim seems strangely nonplussed by what he finds. Jim: you're *traveling* through the heart of Clusterfuck Nation. Many people; many cars; much heat in this large land. It's gonna be a pain.

For my money, anyway, I find the topography of cities like Seattle, San Fran to be a blessing. I like the hills. Maybe it keeps out a certain percentage of the out-of-shape crowd. Maybe not? Who knows?

* * *

Anyhoo, a little Monday morning fun for your coffee-drinking pleasure. First, an update on the progress of Urban America's *Official* Favorite Backyard Garden:

http://mikesneighborhood.blogspot.com/2006/06/weed-grows-in-queens_19.html

And, my own look at Hillary's political posturing, as she positions herself for elevation to the Title of "Queen of the Universe":

http://mikesneighborhood.blogspot.com/2006/06/le-monde-cest-moi_19.html

Enjoy.

[Dave]

If one likes to understand how local elites work go to a site by scholar named Domhoff titled "Who Owns America" great article on how and why the clusterfuck happens. Local elites and the culture of Growth uberalles ! How they operate and what are there techniques. Good piece. Dave

[kevin_m]

By way of contrast, the last time I passed through Heathrow they had a smallish sign next to the custom officers' booths. "Be warned," it said. "Assualting a customs officers MAY lead to imprisonment or a severe fine."

Apparently it was a 50/50 chance, so I refrained from starting a fistfight.

[bud4wiser]

JK,

A slice out of JK's travels. Well, I'm pretty sure we all spend about 40% of our waking time bitching and moaning about why things are the way they are.

On my weekend bicycle ride, I could see that America has completely adjusted to $3.00 a gallon gasoline.

As I rested outside the rural conveniece stores that serve as "mini-walmarts" for towns with populations less than 10,000 - I noted that ALL the vehicles coming in for 5 minute "booze and burp" refills were LEFT RUNNING......I estimated one couple, idled for 15 to 20 minutes as they adjusted the locations of their "big gulps" for additional travels.

Several months ago, post-Katrina-times, many of the patrons would turn off their engines............

Happy Summer America, long may you run.

[Foreign Joe]

I've got it!

DWAI = Driving While under the Affluence
of Incohol

You were lucky with that Canadian official. They are real sweetie-pies compared to their collegues south of the border. I should know.

[raincat100]

Here's a story about the beginning of the end for Seattle's streetcars:

Seattle voters reject plan to scrap municipal streetcars on March 9, 1937

http://www.historylink.org/essays/output.cfm?file_id=2694

[deblonay]

Why have hotels everywhere adopted duvets,(doonas in Europe or Australia)in place of blankets where one can use a number of layers as reguired).Generally.I find duvets too hot and heavy for me...but what does one do.
Istill have a memory of trying to sleep in a small,lovely little Austrians hotel at Salzbury in mid-winter..snow on the ground,but the hotel far too hot,and the duvet too heavy. I didn;t get a decent night sleep whilst staying there. Blankets would have been easier.
Is it that hotel staff can very quickly remake the bed each day..?.where blankets require more skill in making the bed.? I suspect that is the reason. So the customer is sacrificed for the sake of the hotel !

[fizure]

For those interested, a video stream of our host's Seattle Town Hall auditorium lecture:

http://www.seattlechannel.org/media/programDetails.asp?title=5070626

[raincat100]

And, here's a story about Seattle's next big transportation headache:

Transportation officials say 520 bridge in jeopardy
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6420AP_WA_520_Bridge.html

Funny quote: "The new bridge will be designed to accommodate light rail in the future."

Yeah, right. Just like the bus tunnel.

[raincat100]

Why do comments appear, then disappear on this blog? It's very odd.

[differentJim]

JK should do webcasts and stay off the planes.
Sounds like he spends a lot of time being shlepped around and catered to. I wish we all had the luxury to squader resourses like $50 cab rides (what you didn't know you needed to eat befor you got way the fuck out there?) and flights around the country to tell the same tired story: We're Fucked and I helping hasten it as I rush around and tell you all about it. Decline the next speach and send it out video conference via the web.

[Mike Church]

I don't know that plane delays make any remark on the sorry state of our nation and its energy preparations; those have existed for years. However, it is true that our air travel system is overburdened by the lack of a rail system, which is the reason it's used for mid-distance travel.

As for the future of the West Coast, I think the bigger threat is the housing crash, which is due in a couple of years (and may be related to PO, but would happen even in its absence).

In fact, just as Oct. '29 has been given as the cause (when, in truth, the proximate but not ultimate cause) of the Great Depression, the Depression of ~2008-2020 will be attributed (in the popular view) to the housing crash rather than oil. The West Coast will, of course, be hardest hit by the housing pwnage.

[kd]

I'd suggest you travel everywhere by train, but it takes too long, right?

"Speed" is one of those 20th century "miracles" we take for granted, & have come to think of as a "necessity."

*

It's been a hot summer so far here in central Texas.

Yesterday I was at the laundromat. The AC was on inside, but all the clothes driers tended to heat the place up.

So what did patrons do while their clothes were being washed & dried by machines?

They sat outside in their cars, engines running, ACs blasting. I was the only one inside. From there I watched a fellow laundromat patron take her car across the street to a Starbucks drive-thru, buy a cold frappucino (sp?) at the window, drive back across the street to the laundromat, park, & stay in her car, engine running.

Ah, the comfort & convenience of modern life...Where would we be without them?

[Eric]

Funny this week's column should mention cities trying to be real-gosh-dern walkable livable places. I recently spent a week in Vermont (lovely place), which has a reputation for being one of the most progressive states in the union. People always rave about Burlington.

Well, Burlington is okay, but I wasn't that impressed. It's very small, so walkable (you can go from one end of town to the other in about 25 minutes if you're in reasonable shape), but they've got some misplaced pride.

For example: they have a train station, but it's disused- to take a train, you have to travel for about 15 minutes over to Essex Junction. That wouldn't be so bad (it's backwards, but hey) but there's no train service from Essex Junction to Montreal, the closest major city!

They're most proud of Church Street, which is a pedestrian mall. Even on a cold windy day in May, there were lots of people out and about- but it's all chain stores. There's very little to recommend it, unless you're dying to go to a Gap.

Once you drive for about 5 minutes out of town, you're hit by sprawl. It's much lower-scale and it ends pretty abruptly, but it's still there.

And this is the most progressive state in the country.

I have to mention, though, that Montpelier is lovely. Not a chain store to be seen (except for Ben & Jerry's, but that's allowed) and lovely cafes, restaurants, bookstores, and an old movie theater that's still functioning, all in the space of two main streets.

[Paul Cooley]

Every year, when we think of going east to see family for the holidays, we are faced with taking the airplane or spending 10% of our yearly income traveling on Amtrak in a sleeper. (We have travelled coach, but with two small children, over the four days of the total trip, coach gets very cranky -- ok, so I get cranky).

We just booked a Christmas Amtrak trip, and after reading your post, I remember why I hate to fly.

Once, I broke a plane. On one leg of a trip, I noticed that the next leg had the three of us sitting all over the plane -- including my two-year-old daughter. I calmly asked at the gate to have us seated together. The gate attendant told us to ask a flight attendant. When we got on the plane, the flight attendant told us she couldn't help us and told us to ask other passengers. I asked one passenger who said that, no, she didn't want to move. I sat down next to the window and shouted something immature like, "I'm sick of this fucking shit!" and I slammed my elbow into the side of the plane. The plastic cracked in a large spiderweb pattern. I quieted down real quick and hoped they wouldn't notice. But they called me to the front of the plane and asked me if I felt like I could continue on the flight. I said I could, and they sent me back to my seat. I expected the police to be waiting for me at the other terminal, but they weren't, and for weeks afterwards I expected a bill for a plastic panel to show up in the mail, but nothing ever arrived.

It's best that I travel by train so that I can continue with the illusion that I am a patient man.

[mr. x]

All those stupid people flying all over the country are cramping JHK's style, huh? Well, I'm sure air travel will improve when higher fuel prices serve to keep the riff raff from clogging up JHK's skies. Well, what can he do, he really has no choice in the matter, I mean, a guy has to get around and travel freely, doesn't he? I have to admit though, coal burning power plants running electrified trains would be much better for the environment. Them and that "green" ethanol refined by burning whatever is at hand. We're doomed, dooomed. Whatever happened to sandals, sackcloth, and ashes?

[one Eye Open]

kd sez:

"Yesterday I was at the laundromat." Then he goes on to harrangue those for their wasteful ways with the implication of he being holier than they. Question for kd: Why not stay home and wash your clothes in a tub? Then you can hang them on the line and let the wind dry them...for free? Guess one man's meat will always be another man's poison.

[Lise]

"Yesterday I was at the laundromat." If it's that hot outside, your clothes will dry just as fast outdoors as in the clothes dryer.

[Earl]

"Okay, so I spent nine days on the West Coast, starting in Los Angeles, Pasadena, actually. Let's just say that part of the United States is absolutely hopeless."

Gee, who put a gun to your head and forced you on this tortuous voyage into the heart of darkness? Can't you make your prognostications from the Lazyboy their in Sarasota Springs?

[ellie]

What blows my mind is how people can't seem to live without airconditioning. Where I live it gets up into the high 90s with lots of humidity in the summer, and we don't have central a/c, but we get along quit tolarably with judicious use of fans and opening/closing the apropriate windows.

So it was hot on the plane. So the hotel didn't cater to your every whim. These things are all dependant on cheap oil, and should be going away as we pass peak, right? Then why are we wasting our time bitching and moaning about shit that doesn't matter? Everyone here already knows this nation is a clusterfuck. Instead of whining about things we can't change and won't matter in another 5-10 years, let's talk about something productive instead.

[Mike]

"let's talk about something productive instead"

Like meatballs made from cat! I find the cat meatball thing especially funny in light of Bustin Justin's rants against felines last week.

I'm not gonna keep "spamming," but those of you who wanna read know where to go.